Change the Face of Phoenix

In Your Relationships

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What can we do in our relationships to make the world a better place? 
Note: Relationships include spouses, siblings, extended family, friends & coworkers.

* Treat everyone as we wish to be treated... It goes almost without saying, this rule works on the road, on the job, at home, everywhere!  Yes, many times we forget this simple rule, and many times it seems like too much work, but the benefits are enormous.  Start and end the day following this rule.

* LOVE everyone...
Equally and unconditionally.

* Simple truths of serving...
It is not how much we do, but how much love we put in the doing.
It is not how much we give, but how much love we put in the giving.

* Communicate!...
After lack of love, the main reason any relationship fails is a lack of communication.

* Be open and honest...
If we are hiding something from ones we love, we simply cannot be loving them fully.

* Respect others and give reason for them to respect you...
 Give respect until there is no reason to respect, then give some more.  If we stop respecting completely, the other has no reason to respect us.

* Live according to your values and beliefs...
Stay consistent, don't change with the situation.  Just because many others use situational ethics doesn't make it right. 

* Always respond with kindness...
No matter what someone does that causes us hurt, respond with kind words and/or actions. 

* Love everyone uniquely...
We are all unique so don't use the same template to love everyone.  Seek first to understand your differences, then love accordingly. 

* ALLOW others to love you!...
 This may be surprising, but many people feel such a need to be "in control" of their life that conditions are set on whether and how they will accept love.  If we can't accept it, it's pretty tough to give it.  True love can only be unconditional! 

* Be willing to be vulnerable in your love...
(This goes hand-in-hand with the previous one.)  Yes, this can be hard to do, however if we are not willing to, how can we expect it from others?  Allowing vulnerability shows we trust someone.  If we share a deeper trust we share a deeper love.

* Understand before attempting to be understood...
In other words, listen attentively first, make sure we understand what we "heard", clarify if necessary, process our thoughts before speaking, then speak in as clear and concise a manner as possible.  More words do not win a debate, understandable words just might.  Just remember, love isn't a debate or something to win, it can only be freely given or received.

* Say "I love you!" everyday and often...
If we love a person, they shouldn't have to ask if we love them.  Even if they know we do, KEEP telling them. 

* Admit our mistakes and apologize quickly...
even when it is hard.  And yes even if we think it "wasn't our fault", apologize.

* Have fun together...
even when tough things need to be done. Cheerfulness helps a job go faster and helps us work as a team.  No one likes a taskmaster, so make it fun!

* Never give up on each other...
even when it appears it is hopeless.  If we have no hope, all is lost.  Continue to hope and keep trying in love.

* Forgive each other!...
Whenever we have been hurt or offended, don't wait to be asked for forgiveness, just forgive.  This does not mean we are saying it was ok to do or to "forget", we are simply saying we love the other unconditionally.  When the time is right, explain how we felt hurt and ask how together we can prevent the same thing from occurring again.

* Build togetherness NOT independence!...
Marriage is all about two individuals becoming one.  No, there's nothing wrong with a certain amount of independence, but continuing to seek independence while in a marriage is just being selfish.  Serving each other is the key to growing together, and if we aren't growing together, we're drifting apart.  The longer a marriage lasts the stronger the bonds of togetherness should be.